'Member that time I made the mistake of turning on the television during Adelaide's naptime?
Adelaide was about a year old. We were living in Connecticut. Derek was at work, Adelaide was down for her afternoon nap. I don't watch a lot of tv, but for some reason I decided to turn it on. The first thing I saw was a 30-second preview for a remake of "The Omen." I turned the tv off.
When I was younger, I watched all kinds of horror movies. I thought they were more funny than scary, and when I did get scared, I just thought it was a delicious kind of fun.
Then I grew up and turned into a pansy. I don't watch horror movies anymore.
Back to that afternoon in Connecticut.
I knew that watching that preview was a mistake. I guess the movie is about a little boy possessed by (or just is?) the devil. It made me shudder and want to watch something completely benign like Pollyanna.
Soon after this Adelaide wakes up from her nap. I've still got devil-boy on the brain, and this, of course, leads me straight back to my old friend paranoia. Only this time it involves my own cherub-faced girl.
I find myself watching her out of the corner of my eye, just waiting for her head to start revolving in 360-degree turns or for her eyes to take on a tell-tale red sheen.
I'm afraid of my own daughter.
I would really prefer to forget that time. It was one of the creepiest afternoons of my life.
'Member That Time Monday. Van Voorst's. Go.