Arrive home in Iowa after visiting southern Kansas. Thank God it's 15 degrees cooler here than it is down there.
Remember that 15 degrees cooler than 105 is still 90 and you don't have air-conditioning in your house.
Lie on your kitchen floor like a dog trying to find the coolest possible place inside. Cry.
Don't eat anything all day because you're just too hot.
Go grocery shopping. Break your promise to yourself to wait until the watermelon is ready in your garden and buy one at the store.
Eat 1/3 of a gigantic watermelon for supper. Nothing else- just watermelon.
Have cereal for breakfast the next morning because that cold, juicy, thirst-quenching watermelon sitting in the fridge doesn't control you.
Eat another 1/3 of a watermelon for lunch. Nothing else- just watermelon.
Take a bunch of allergy medicine and slather ointment all over your eczema that is flaring up, due to the fact that...
You're allergic to watermelon. You've known this for years, but eat it anyway any time it gets really hot.
Curse yourself for being so stupid.
Have another slice of watermelon.