Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My Precious

For some reason I have been thinking a lot about hoarders lately.

Maybe it's because there's quite a bit of gift-giving and receiving going on right now, which often results in the accumulation of stuff.  I myself am not a hoarder.  On some level, however, I can sympathize with those people who find it emotionally impossible to ever throw anything away.  While I often have to restrain myself from throwing away every last toy in the house, I do have specific types of items that I find myself compulsively storing away, year after year. 

I recently mentioned that I like practical gifts.  On the occasions that I receive a particularly lovely or fine practical present, I find that I can't make myself use it.  Instead, I find myself carefully storing them, only pulling them out of their little hiding places a few times a year to gaze upon them fondly. 

It's kind of starting to bother me that I do this.

The last time I pulled out the storage box from under my bed and caught sight of the beautiful letter-sealing kit Derek gave me years ago, I swear that I went into some kind of fugue state, gently caressing the sticks of wax and metal stamp.  When my children finally found me, it was all I could do not to throw the items under the bed before they could see them and demand that I share.

I find this behavior in myself disturbing and borderline unhealthy.  I'm afraid that if I'm not careful, next time I won't just hurriedly hide my beloved objects, I will instead starting stroking them and whispering, "My precious,"  then hissing things like, "What has it got in it's pocketses?" when I see my children. 

At least it was a gold ring that Gollum loved.  I would instead be holding things like the reams of Lisa Frank paper I refused to write on as a child because they were just too pretty.

Because I do try to correct odd behavior in myself (when the mood strikes me, anyway), I tried to use the letter-sealing kit.  I love to write letters to my far-flung friends, and decided a wax-sealed envelope would communicate some extra care and affection. 

I burned two fingers and caught three envelopes on fire, and decided there are worse creatures out there to be compared to than Gollum.

Like Stalin.  Or maybe Satan.


  1. ROFLOL! You crack me up! I absolutely love the parallel to Gollum and am afraid I relate too much to the hoarding tendency. It seems any time I throw something away I "need" it within a week and I kick myself that I threw it away. This just encourages my packrat tendencies, sigh.

  2. Like the blender we donated years ago? I swear I've needed it every other week since we gave it away.


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