Monday, August 13, 2012

Reader Discretion Advised

Adelaide starts 1st grade in a few days.

The thing about your kids approaching milestones is that it dredges up all kind of memories of your own past.  Fortunately, I had an excellent first grade experience, so the memories that keep floating to the surface are kind of random but mostly nice.

I remember my teacher, Miss Y, and how she used to carefully enunciate each word during our spelling tests, then sing a few lines of a song containing that word.  That's how I learned the theme to the show, "Love Boat."  I also remember that her initials combined to spell her three-letter first name, which, to a six-year-old, is pretty much the coolest thing ever.

I remember we had an old cast-iron claw-footed bathtub painted a bright blue sitting in the classroom.  It had all kinds of plump pillows in it, and if you finished your work early, you got to sit in it and read.  Also the coolest thing ever.

I remember the time my dad was supposed to pick me up from school.  Most days I guess I rode the bus or my mom came to get me, but for whatever reason, that day it was my dad's job.  I stood outside with Miss Y, watching the parking lot empty and my classmates disappear around me.  When it was clear that he wasn't coming, we went inside to the office so she could call him.  I don't really remember her side of the conversation, but I later heard him recount that the conversation went something like this:

*Ring, ring*

"This is David."  (This is how my dad has always, always answered the phone.  Even at home.  Even in the middle of the night.  I have a feeling he was probably doing this as a preschooler, his little kid voice brisk and business-like as he announced into the phone, "This is David."  Anyway.)

"Hi, David, this is Miss Y at Trinity.  I have Kristy here..."

"Ah, *inappropriate expletive*."

Then, as he realized he was speaking to the nice, young teacher of his daughter, who happened to teach at a conservative Christian school, and had just cussed in her ear, "Oh, *wildly inappropriate expletive*!"

All I know about what happened next is that he apologized, she managed to laugh about it, and he came speeding into the parking lot just a few minutes later.

I'm now really curious to see what second grade will dredge up.


  1. I have just one important memory from first grade. My first boyfriend. He kissed my hand at one point, and I refused to wash the hand for a week or so. And his name, honest to God, was Virgil. :-)

    Emma's school has multi-age classrooms, and the Middle Elementary classroom has just such a bathtub, and she loved reading in it!

    1. If you're going to have a boyfriend in first grade, he definitely needs to have a name like Virgil. Or maybe Eugene.

      And what's a multi-age classroom?

  2. I don't remember 1st grade..... at all. Maybe I didn't go? Mom?

    1. You should see if any of your supposed- elementary school classmates remember first grade. MAYBE IT'S ALL A BIG CONSPIRACY.


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