Friday, November 9, 2012

Forgotten Photos

Today I was going to write either about Adelaide's parent teacher conferences, a tree in our front yard, or some of my garage sale finds from this summer, but I got bored writing all three posts, and I figured if I'm bored writing them, chances are you're going to get bored reading them.

Instead, we're going through some old photos that I meant to post way back when, but just never got around to it.

See this?

That, my friends, is the wallpaper we found on the kitchen walls when we tore out our old cabinets last spring.  Most of those are pastel-colored kitchen tools, but some of the stuff I can't even identify.  Like the curved knife-thingey in the upper right-hand corner.  See it?  It's the one with the violently pink handle.  Maybe an old bottle opener?  I'm also not sure what's in that serving dish on the bottom left.  It's pinkish with green leaves growing out the top.  Maybe some kind of jello salad?  This seems like a jello-salad-era type print to me.  You know, the kind with suspended fruit in the middle?  The stuff that's hardly been touched when the rest of the buffet has pretty much been demolished?  See, you do know what I'm talking about!

A layer deeper, we found even older wallpaper:

(See the wicked-looking pink-handled knife again?  What IS that?)  
I have no idea how old that green and black wallpaper is, but I do know they must have put it up when people were really into textured wall hangings, because that stuff isn't just ugly, it's velvet flocked ugly.  I wish you guys could have touched it for yourselves.

If, by chance, you actually like that green stuff, never fear!  I found something similar that you can buy today:  

That's right:  Victorian Flocked Velvet Wallpaper!  Yours for the bargain price of $63 a roll!

I'd like to submit this whole wallpaper conversation as evidence that I do not like just anything that's old.  I do have some standards, low they may be.

Our next forgotten photo is of Adelaide's birthday cake.  Derek's mom gave me one of those little grocery store checkout aisle booklets that has all kind of kid-themed cookies and cakes that are fun to look at, but which I know I will probably never actually do.

Well, unless Adelaide looks through it and decides that she must have the Candy Land cake featured on one of its pages.

Here's what it looked like in the magazine:

 Photo credit:  Taste of Home

Before I show you what mine looked like, may I just say that the above cake looks deceptively simple, when in fact you needed half a bajillion ingredients to make it look like that, including Valentine's conversation hearts and mini candy canes that you can't exactly find in your corner store during the month of May, and that Taste of Home's cake is actually two sheet cakes laid out next to each other to make space for that giant game board, and I had no intention of feeding our children cake scraps for the next two months.

Brace yourself, now.  Here's the beauty that is my cake:

Nailed it.

It actually gets worse the longer you look at it.

In my defense, I didn't get around to decorating the cake until the very last minute (as in, we're about to light the candles and sing to the birthday girl), so I had three over-eager helpers decorating it along with me.

And with that, I have spread enough beauty around the internet for one day.

The end.


  1. I'm loving the look of your candy-land cake. It certainly looks like a sugar overload. And the wallpaper - I think there was something similar in our kitchen before we owned the house. But that velvet job - how could somebody put that in their KITCHEN?

    I am clueless on the knife.

    1. What, you don't think velvet walls in a kitchen is completely natural? I can't imagine the grease and whatnot getting stuck in there. How on earth would you clean wallpaper like that?

  2. Those are cheese knives. You slice, then use the pointy end to pick up your piece. You obviously need to attend more cocktail parties. :-) I have never actually seen one in real life, and don't even know why I KNOW it's a cheese knife, but I just googled it, and it is.

    I will never understand how anyone ever puts wallpaper anywhere. There isn't ANY wallpaper that I would like on actual walls. When we moved into this house, the old kitchen (since demolished and replaced with another whole half of a house) had fake plastic brick on some of the walls. Fake brick? Ugly, ugly, ugly! And we're not talking just a brick pattern --no, this was true bas-relief. I tried to remove some at first, and had to have a friend come over and re-drywall that section. The other section I just painted light blue and tried to ignore until we built out addition.

    1. Aaaaand Cassie Renee comes through! A cheese knife? I'm going to have to search Google Images myself.

      I've seen a few types of wallpaper I like, but 1) It seems horrendously expensive, 2) It seems like a HUGE pain to put up, and 3) It seems like a HUGE pain to rip back down. Why on earth wouldn't you just paint?

      I don't watch much tv, but last time I did, it was HGTV, and some crazy designer had taken over someone's kitchen and was putting FAKE BRICK ON HALF OF A WALL. I wanted to die. Who does that?

  3. Oh, I forgot to comment on the cake (see, this is why I had to start a blog --otherwise I write books on other people's blogs). I just want to say that I totally admire your effort :-)


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