Instead, we're going through some old photos that I meant to post way back when, but just never got around to it.
That, my friends, is the wallpaper we found on the kitchen walls when we tore out our old cabinets last spring. Most of those are pastel-colored kitchen tools, but some of the stuff I can't even identify. Like the curved knife-thingey in the upper right-hand corner. See it? It's the one with the violently pink handle. Maybe an old bottle opener? I'm also not sure what's in that serving dish on the bottom left. It's pinkish with green leaves growing out the top. Maybe some kind of jello salad? This seems like a jello-salad-era type print to me. You know, the kind with suspended fruit in the middle? The stuff that's hardly been touched when the rest of the buffet has pretty much been demolished? See, you do know what I'm talking about!
A layer deeper, we found even older wallpaper:
(See the wicked-looking pink-handled knife again? What IS that?)
I have no idea how old that green and black wallpaper is, but I do know they must have put it up when people were really into textured wall hangings, because that stuff isn't just ugly, it's velvet flocked ugly. I wish you guys could have touched it for yourselves.
If, by chance, you actually like that green stuff, never fear! I found something similar that you can buy today:
That's right: Victorian Flocked Velvet Wallpaper! Yours for the bargain price of $63 a roll!
I'd like to submit this whole wallpaper conversation as evidence that I do not like just anything that's old. I do have some standards, low they may be.
Our next forgotten photo is of Adelaide's birthday cake. Derek's mom gave me one of those little grocery store checkout aisle booklets that has all kind of kid-themed cookies and cakes that are fun to look at, but which I know I will probably never actually do.
Well, unless Adelaide looks through it and decides that she must have the Candy Land cake featured on one of its pages.
Here's what it looked like in the magazine:
Photo credit: Taste of Home
Before I show you what mine looked like, may I just say that the above cake looks deceptively simple, when in fact you needed half a bajillion ingredients to make it look like that, including Valentine's conversation hearts and mini candy canes that you can't exactly find in your corner store during the month of May, and that Taste of Home's cake is actually two sheet cakes laid out next to each other to make space for that giant game board, and I had no intention of feeding our children cake scraps for the next two months.
Brace yourself, now. Here's the beauty that is my cake:
It actually gets worse the longer you look at it.
In my defense, I didn't get around to decorating the cake until the very last minute (as in, we're about to light the candles and sing to the birthday girl), so I had three over-eager helpers decorating it along with me.
And with that, I have spread enough beauty around the internet for one day.