Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Best Slippers In The Entire World, If Not The Entire Universe, And I'm Not Even Exaggerating (Much)

I know I said I was going to write another cancer post... like, yesterday... or maybe even the day before... but guess what?

I haven't felt like it.

And guess what else?

I still don't feel like it.

You know what I do feel like writing about?


That's right.  Slippers.  I guess it's just a frivolous kind of day.  And cancer is anything but frivolous.

So here's the thing.  I'm not really a gift person.  Derek and I went through that Love Languages book a few years ago, and guess which love language comes in dead last for me?

Right again.  Receiving of gifts.

That's not to say I don't like any gifts, ever.  I just prefer for people to say nice things to me or do stuff for me rather than give me more stuff.  I think it kind of ties in with the fact that I'm not really a 'stuff' person.  If our house caught on fire, we got everyone out safely and still had time to grab a material object, I really have no idea what I'd grab.  Maybe the quilts my mom, grandma, and aunts have made for us.  Maybe one of the books Derek has gotten for me.  The value I place on those items lies more in the people behind them, however, not so much on the things themselves.

I'm sure this is also all part of the reason that I prefer practical gifts.  (Unless it's old.  Then it doesn't have to be practical at all.)  Well, that and the fact that I'm super picky about the stuff I do want.  I'm actually pretty fortunate in that the people around me all seem to get me pretty practical stuff for gifts.  I can't really remember the last time I got a gift I just couldn't stand.  (Wait.  That's not true.  I once participated in one of those Secret Santa thingies and got knick knacks and useless dust catchers for three. weeks. straight.)

I'm basically the most difficult person in the world.

One of the things I'm picky about are slippers.  I wear slippers all the time.

I don't just mean most days, or most evenings, or the coldest weeks out of the year, or when I'm sick.

Starting around October all the way into the beginning of May, I wear my slippers from the moment my feet touch the ground until I'm sliding my feet out of them and swinging them into bed.  The reasons for this are:

  • We have bare floors on the main level of our house, and not those fancy radiant heating floors; hardwood and laminate floors that hover just above an old and chilly basement.
  • We live in Iowa.  It's usually cold from October until May.
  • I stay at home with our kids, so I'm on these floors all day, every day, and finally
  • I'm a big fat pansy who hates having cold feet.

As a result of all those things, I'm picky about my slippers.  I don't like the backless kind; no backs = shuffling, and I'm already outnumbered by these little heathens we call children- why on earth would I wear something that slows me down, thus handicapping me and giving them yet another advantage?  I also don't like those thin little things that as far as I can tell are really just glorified socks.  I would also like to wear something that is reasonably attractive; when it's a battle just to find time for a shower and a clean pair of jeans, you don't want to walk around in something that, while comfortable, makes you look even uglier and stay-at-home-mom-ish.  Trust me on this one.

Fear not- there is a point to all this whining and complaining.  

BEHOLD-  The perfect slipper.

I'm not exactly a regular L.L. Bean kind of shopper, unless I'm finding it second-hand at a garage sale.  And make no mistake:  these slippers are kind of pricey.  (They're $40.  Forty dollars is a fortune to spend in my world, at least on slippers.)  I justify the cost by reminding myself just how much I wear these babies.  That, and not actually buying them myself; these were a birthday present (thanks, Mom!).

And by the way?  I only asked for these because I had completely worn out my old pair, which I received for my birthday four years ago.

I know it's hard to tell, but the one on the left is the old slipper.

Now the one on the right is the old one.  (I knew you were confused- it's like I can read your mind.)

I probably should have asked for a new pair last year, but I'm a firm believer in stretching things to their absolute limit of usefulness.  

Which is why I'm still wearing my old pair right now.  I keep telling myself I'll put on the new pair on the next really cold day.  Or the next time I trip on the laces that will no longer tie when I'm walking down the stairs and almost die.

Whichever comes first.

Note:  Just in case there's any confusion, this is not a paid endorsement by L.L. Bean.  They just have awesome slippers (hey, these would actually be a good Christmas gift, guys!), and I like to talk about really random/boring things sometimes.  


  1. LL Bean also has a return policy that allows you to return any item at any time and get a new item. I've heard of people trading in their child's jackets when they outgrow them for the next size up. Other people have done the same with shoes, boots and slippers. So even though their prices are often "wicked" expensive, their return policy kind of makes up for that fact.

    1. Your mom told me the same thing, and I checked it out online. Their return policy states: "Our products are guaranteed to give 100% satisfaction in every way. Return anything purchased from us at any time if it proves otherwise. We do not want you to have anything from L.L.Bean that is not completely satisfactory."

      So while I guess I could return those to get new ones, I really wouldn't feel good about it. I was 100% satisfied, and would like I was abusing the system.

      Thanks for the info, though. I definitely wouldn't have known that on my own.

  2. I'm wear my slippers all year long.. Even in iowa. My toes are always cold. I would be ashamed to show anyone a picture of mine, though. When the doorbell rings, I kick them off under the couch


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