Monday, April 22, 2013

Silver Linings

I gotta tell you, today has been one of those days.  The kind where, in order to convince yourself that Yes, you should get out of bed tomorrow morning, you have to mentally gloss over all the negative aspects and accentuate the positive.

On that note, I give you all the great things that happened today:

This morning, Caedmon greeted me with a great big smile when I walked into his bedroom.  See?  That's a terrific positive.  He also gestured grandly like a miniature, male Vanna White while standing in the corner of his crib and proudly cried, "See what I did?" in order to properly showcase the vomit covering his sheets and blankets, his own clothing, and the bars of his crib.  I'm guessing he didn't point out the puke crusted in his hair simply because he couldn't see it.
Positive:  Caedmon's cheerful morning greeting and his channeling of a glittering game show model was a terrific way to start the day.  As long as you ignored the powerful stench.

This evening at the supper table, I got three whole bites of food into my mouth before Atticus brought forth a truly impressive amount of vomit before bursting into hysterical tears.  He was also kind enough to turn to the side immediately before doing so, saving the table and its spread of freshly prepared food from mixing with Atticus's slightly less fresh, already-digested food.
Positive:  I did get a little supper, and most of the puke landed on the laminate flooring.

Five minutes later, while I was working on cleaning up the aforementioned well-placed mess and Adelaide and Caedmon were plowing through their supper, astonishingly unaffected by their brother's impressive display of regurgitation, I could hear Derek leading Atticus toward the stairs to head up for a bath.  They made it all the way to the staircase before another chorus of heaving and splashing echoed through the house.
Positive:  It was in the front room, which is all wood flooring; easy clean-up.  Plus by this point I was giggling a bit maniacally, which Adelaide questioned.  I gave her a little history lesson and hit her with an Abraham Lincoln quote:  "I laugh because I must not cry.  That is all.  That is all."  While cleaning up vomit.  Parenting Level "Supreme Awesomeness": Unlocked.

I got to go to the library for a while this evening, which I believe gave me the fortitude I needed to clean up the mess I found in one of the children's bedrooms upon my return.  I won't burden you with the knowledge of exactly what it was, but I will say it was a puddle of a common byproduct of illness other than vomit nestled in a Vikings cap.  Evidently it magically appeared there, as none of our three children have any idea of its origin.
Positive:  We live in a time and place where modern plumbing exists.  I was able to throw the hat, a befouled teddy bear, and a number of pieces of less-than-pristine boys clothing into the washer with only minor clean-up beforehand, dump in some soap, turn a knob, and walk away.  Straight to the kitchen sink where I viciously scrubbed my hands.

Yup.  It was a good day.


  1. Is it Adelaide's turn today? Are you waiting for that third shoe to drop?

    I'm SO glad I'm past those days. Funny the things you do as a parent that any (normal) adult would faint at :-)

    1. I keep waiting for the other three of us to get sick. So far, Atticus has gotten the bulk of it, thank heaven.

  2. Nice try.
    Not sure I'm buying it though.
    Sounds horrid.

    1. You know, it would have been horrid if this had struck during the middle of winter, but just being able to escape outside every so often made it all pretty bearable.

  3. Please don't let the kids on my bus get this...please don't let the kids on my bus get this....please don't let the kids on my bus get this

    1. Ew, that would be horrible. I can clean up my own kids' messes; other kids'... I don't know. Somehow it's just worse.


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