It feels like everywhere I turn, people are talking about camping. The weather turns warm and people decide to eschew their comfortable, bug-free houses and sleep outside. Scratch that- they drive hours and hours away from their comfortable, bug-free houses and then they sleep outside.
Here's what springs to my mind anytime someone mentions the word "camping:"
Being excited about getting to sleep separately from the rest of my family in a two-person tent (my dad is a camping purist; no pop-ups or campers for us, oh no; if you're not in an uncomfortable, leaky tent with nary an air mattress in sight, then you're not really camping) with the friend I'd brought along (pretty sure the fact that I always got to bring a friend on our annual camping trips was my mom's way of keeping me from revolting; she's the polar opposite of my dad in that her favorite place to camp is the Holiday Inn). We'd borrowed the special, just-Kim-and-me tent from our family friend Teresa. I'm pretty sure I had visions of something like this:
[UPDATE: Derek read this post the day after I published it, and wasted no time in texting to assure me that if I didn't remove the photo I originally had posted below- of the twins in a pup tent in the original The Parent Trap movie- we would be sued and burned on a pyre, probably at the same time. I was scared to do a Google search for "girls in tent" for a stock photo, and besides, the Hayley Mills picture is really what's in my head. So I decided to craft a near-exact duplicate via Microsoft Paint. Behold, then click on this link so that you can compare how awesomely similar my version and the original photo are. You're welcome.]
|You should definitely click to embiggen.|
Know what else I think of? Trying to canoe with a different friend on a different family camping trip, but being unable to because a boy in our party decided that it would be just hilarious to spend forever (read: probably about five minutes) trying to tip our canoe. And it was all fun and games until someone decided to jab her canoe paddle into someone's else face to make him stop. No means no, Brian. (In his defense, Adolescent Me did this weird thing where she'd laugh and use a jocular tone of voice even while saying things like, "Stop it," and "Cut it out." So going from thinking everyone was having fun to having his parents try to separate his lips from his braces was probably a little bewildering. My bad.)
You can therefore understand why I find this article, Stuff White People Like: Camping, absolutely and unequivocally hilarious. Like, can't-breathe-while-I'm-reading-it hilarious.
Please tell me none of you are going camping this summer.