Wednesday, September 11, 2013

And His Birthday Is Only A Month Away!

You guys.

"My Loving Jesus Doll," courtesy of

I know I was going to post the list of suggestions we've received in the past on how to combat Atticus's night terrors, but I cannot bring myself to think past the sheer awesomeness you see above.  

First of all, your suggestions via yesterday's comments were terrific.  "Put him outside in a tent."  (Oh, we've thought about it.)  "Sing 'Jesus Loves Me.'"  Pretty sure I haven't tried that one, but I'm going to give it a go.  Hopefully it won't be an angry, metal version that will ruin the song for him forever.  "Get him a stuffed Jesus."


I'm not talking about taxidermy.  (Oh my gosh.  I could follow that train of thought all kinds of places, but I won't.  I will exercise restraint.  You're welcome.)

Immediately after reading this comment, I OF COURSE googled "stuffed Jesus doll."  The above image is the first one that came up.  It was Agape at first sight.  

Never mind that I'm pretty sure he's contoured his face (lay off the bronzer, Jesus!).  Never mind that his proportions are just a tad off (What is with those giant hands?  All the better to save you with, my dear.)

He's almost a foot and a half tall.  (The doll, not real Jesus.  Keep up, people.)  He's machine washable- although there's no way I could live with the guilt of not even taking the time to hand-wash Jesus.  Couldn't do it.  

If you have so much as two extra minutes in your day, do yourself a favor and do the google image search.  It's priceless (actually, most of them seem to be $19.95).  I'm particularly intrigued by the talking Jesus doll.  How on earth would choose who you want to be the voice of Jesus?  James Earl Jones?  Are you going to get super authentic and make him speak in Aramaic?  (Not that Jesus couldn't speak in English if he wanted to.  I wonder what accent he would choose to take on?)

My sister is a genius.  (Thanks, Steph!)


  1. Choking with laughter... taxidermy (so difficult to accomplish after rising from the dead, you know)... "All the better to save you with, my dear."

    Okay, so once upon a time (thankfully long ago), my kid was given (or maybe he won?) a talking Jesus doll. Think Barbie Doll, er, Ken doll, only it's supposedly Jesus. We were totally creeped out.
    I'm creeping out again just thinking about it!

    Yeah, the "Jesus Loves Me" has to be sung softly, calmly, repeatedly. No irritation in the voice is allowed. ;) (Although now I wonder if there is a metal version on youtube...)

  2. Earlier today I came back to your other post to see other people's comments. I immediately googled "stuffed Jesus" and saw this same doll. It's fantastic! I mean, He is fantastic (of course - it's Jesus). I love the feet in the flop-flop-like sandals. And the required early-Palestine bathrobe look.

    My search also led me to a treasure trove of plush famous people, like stuffed Jane Austen and stuffed Freud. I know what everybody in my family is getting for Christmas!

    IOn a serious note, I hope that there is a solution for your child's serious difficulty. The poor boy, with all those dreadfully scary dreams.

  3. You're killing me!
    "All the better to save you with, my dear."

  4. I have to admit --I think that thing would GIVE me bad dreams :-)

  5. This post continues to crack me up. Seriously. You are genius!!

    It was Agape at first sight.


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