- "Doesn't take after Mom, does he? *chortle chortle chortle*" Said by the doctor after calculating the percentile rank for Atticus's height at his yearly well-child appointment. My son is tall. I am not. I get it.
I desperately wanted to respond with a hearty, fake "HAHAHAHAHAHA," but the key to the faux guffaw is cutting it off abruptly with a stony glare, and anytime I do a big fake laugh I get about three "Ha"s in before I start to laugh for real. So instead of communicating sarcastic chastisement I'd end up looking completely psychotic, and I generally try to avoid that when in the vicinity of medical professionals evaluating our children.
Of course all this was running through my head immediately after his little joke (Should I try the "HAHAHA"? Am I finally ready to pull it off? Or do I really want to risk having my children taken away today?), so I totally missed everything the nurse was saying at that point. Something about developmental milestones. Probably not important. (If you're reading this, Derek, don't worry. I'm sure our son is completely normal. AS AM I.)
- "Congratulations! What are you going to do with it first?" This was from the lady at the Des Moines Public Library Foundation when I was picking up the Kindle I won. (Yay!) My answer was something like, "Thank you so much!" and then I purposely avoided answering her question, because I figured it would just come to me when I had a chance to mess around with my prize.
I got it home, opened up the box, stared at it for a few minutes... and then closed the box again. I still don't know what to do with it. I feel like all my books are looking at me all accusingly, like I'm some kind of traitor. I've never really felt the need for an e-reader; don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have won the drawing (which I entered by filling out a survey after attending a talk by the author Amy Tan, who, by the way, is immensely entertaining to listen to- if you ever get a chance to hear her speak or to go to one of her readings, definitely, definitely go), but I'm very much an ink-and-paper kind of person. Books make me happy. I redecorate my house by rearranging my books. True, I've had Fahrenheit 451-esque nightmares before (literally), but still... I don't know. So now I have this lovely prize sitting in my house, and I don't know what to do with it. Help! ( I can't help but think this is nothing like the time I won that one awesome prize- I absolutely knew what to do with that. First I made cookies. Then I made more cookies. After that I went a little wild and made cookies again.)
- "Woman, are you crazy?!" This was from Adelaide when I informed her we were having popcorn for supper. Our family eats enough that anymore it's actually somehow less work to just cook a regular meal every night, but we're scraping the bottom of the food barrel and my sister and I decided via text that popcorn is an excellent source of fiber and therefore healthy. (Don't bother disabusing me of this notion. It's called willful denial, friends, and it's oodles of fun.) I'm sure it was especially healthy after I added melted butter and garlic salt. Supper of Champions. (And people with high cholesterol.)