I've made no secret of the fact that generally, when I'm the lone adult in the house and I hear a foreign noise, my brain decides it's clearly someone trying to break into our house or someone creeping through our basement or someone about to attack our children slumbering in their beds or aliens.
I've gotten used to this. I know exactly which items- in a pinch- could be used for weapons in each room of our house. I (along with Adelaide's help) have plotted different escape routes from different areas of the house, depending on where the threat is originating from. I have spoken with our children about how bad guys often wear good guy faces, about what to do and where to go if they feel threatened or even slightly suspicious. We have passwords.
Still, sometimes a new threat emerges. Something that I'm afraid is threatening the safety of our family.
There's a new sound in our bedroom.
It happens almost every time I walk in the door of the bedroom. One to two steps in, and I hear what sounds like the sigh of a human being.
The first couple times I heard it, I walked all the way around our bed, expecting to find one of our children hiding there, because to my mind, there's really nothing else that could be capable of that sound- a single, faint sigh of a person. When I didn't find one, I did not freak out, thankyouverymuch. (That came five trips/five sighs later, and has been steadily increasing every time I hear it. So if I seem a little, I don't know, twitchier than normal in my own house, don't be alarmed. Or do, I guess.)
I have talked to Derek about this. He kept the resigned, Why Did I Have To Marry A Crazy Person look that often appears on his face relatively reined in, walked into our bedroom several times, listening carefully, while I hovered nearby. He didn't hear anything, because when he walks in, there's nothing to hear. (I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.) And I never hear it when anyone else is with me. (I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS EITHER.)
I would just like to insert here that I'M NOT CRAZY. And yes, I realize that that is a statement that often characterizes crazy people. I'm a little anxious and perhaps a trifle paranoid, but I have no history of auditory hallucinations- when I say I hear a person sighing when I walk into my bedroom, I mean I hear a person sighing when I walk into my bedroom.
Now here's where you come in: Please, please, please give me a rational explanation for this. I've checked all around the bedroom door, to see if it's brushing against anything when I walk in. I've walked and bounced and hopped across the floor to check for squeaky or, um, sigh-ey floorboards. What else could it be? Aside from some technological contraption Derek set up to freak me out? Or ghosts? (Which I'm 99% sure I don't believe in.) Or aliens? (Which I'm 98% sure I do.)