Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Adelaide Problems


Adelaide, our resident third grade cranky old lady, speaks in Caps a lot.  Brace yourselves.  


  • "School was pretty good but Music was HORRIBLE today because I had to dance with that SAME BOY, and he kept, like, WIPING the excess SALIVA from his MOUTH, then using that SAME HAND to hold MY hand for the dance.  IT WAS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING.

  • "I do not understand WHY they can't keep an UNABRIDGED VERSION of Little Women in the kids' section of the library.  NOT ALL OF US ARE SATISFIED WITH SUMMARIES."  

  • "WHAT IS WITH THIS FAMILY'S OBSESSION WITH SALSA VERDE?  SALSA-VERDE-SALSA-VERDE-SALSA-VERDE!"

  • "Science is SO MUCH BETTER THIS YEAR.  I mean, I always liked it, but they'd just teach us things like, 'The material coming out of an erupting volcano is called lava,' and I'm like I ALREADY KNOW THAT, but THIS YEAR we get to dissect an owl pellet and try to put the bones of the mouse in it back together into a complete skeleton.  THAT IS SO COOL."  

  • "Guess what, Mom?  GUESS WHAT?  This year, we get to bring BOOKS out to recess!  I GET TO READ AT RECESS!"  *Does a happy dance*

  • "Mom, do you want to hear about my invention?  It's called a PuroPaxThyr [Pure Peace Shield in Latin, according to her- be gentle, my doves, she's 8 and new to the foundation for all romance languages], and it's this shield that can be inserted into your brain, and when you're thinking GOOD thoughts, these RAYS send them out to the person next to you, but when you're sitting next to a bully, the shield blocks ANY ATTEMPTS AT BULLYING from penetrating your brain."  (U.S. Patent Pending, OBVIOUSLY.)

3 comments:

  1. What a precious and wonderful child. Please go ahead and invent the PuroPaxThyr, Adelaide! The world desperately needs it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And these are just a few thinks that I love about sweet Adelaide :) Mrs. Z

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think I like girls who speak in CAPS :-)

    ReplyDelete

Studies show that that people who leave comments are kind, intelligent, generous, creative, and have really nice hair.