October 1st: Drink coffee. Mmm.
October 2nd: Drink coffee. Southern butter pecan creamer, you complete me.
October 3rd: Drink coffee. Feel a tiny niggle of... something... deep in the recesses of my brain.
October 4th: Drink coffee. Ah, yes. I know what that is: Paranoia. Hello, old chum.
October 5th: Drink coffee. Dismiss paranoia and its associated nonsense regarding my coffee.
October 6th: Drink coffee. Attempt to dismiss paranoia. Stare distrustfully into my coffee cup.
October 7th: Drink half a cup of coffee. Upgrade paranoia to suspicion.
October 8th: Do a google search. Find this article, begin to roll my eyes, believing it to be yet another "All your food is evil and also chemicals" post (newsflash, internet: EVERYTHING is chemicals), but its source is an NPR interview. Confirm I have been drinking essence of cockroach.
October 9th: Discover this handy/terrifying chart illustrating how much ground insect the FDA allows in ground coffee. Retch.
October 10th: Buy bag of whole coffee beans. Use canny little mini-blender thing I got for Christmas last year but have never used. It has a grinding blade! It's a (10 month overdue) Christmas miracle!
October 11th: Drink coffee. Yes to the creamer but hold the cockroaches, please.
|Oh, that? That's just a teensy piece of roach carapace, daughter mine. Drinky, drinky.|