Monday, December 1, 2014

Am I Allowed to Talk About Christmas Yet?

It's December 1st, and that means I can finally express my intense and undying love for All Things Christmas without having hostile scrooges be all, "Um, exCUSE me, what about a little thing called THANKSGIVING?"

Look, I like Thanksgiving just fine, but for me, November is like a month-long build up of delicious Christmas season anticipation, where I get to listen to Christmas music but not put up Christmas decorations (hey, man, you got to have some kind of completely arbitrary boundaries, right?), and Thanksgiving is really more of a celebratory feast to kick off the commencement of CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRIIIIISTMAAAAS.

I acknowledge that this is just a tiny bit annoying for some people.  I also don't care- not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.  (There, a non-Christmas movie quote for any Christmas haters who have mysteriously made it this far.)

Really, though, I'm not sure there's a single thing I hate about the Christmas season, and that right there is a miracle akin to the birth of the Messiah (a symptom of my insane excitement for this season:  tons of hyperbole).  Even the Elf on the Shelf, which I find to be extremely creepy and which other parents seem to spend astonishing amounts of time and creativity on, even that is fun for me to read about when other people are doing it for their kids, provided that little fiend hasn't slithered his way into my own house.  (All I can think of when I see Elf on the Shelf is that little creature thing in Cat's Eye who is trying to suck the breath from a little girl every night and lives in the wall; the Elf has to be the effeminate, Marfan syndrome-stricken younger brother of that thing, and we don't have a cat to protect our children, so no Elf on the Shelf for us.)

ANYWAY.  Because of this swirling vortex of Christmas cheer, you can expect a lot of slightly manic posts this month (starting tomorrow with my favorite Children's Christmas Picture Books, because I am afflicted with very strong opinions on this topic), featuring even more caps lock than usual.  I'M SO EXCITED.




GUESS WHICH ONE I AM.


2 comments:

  1. My younger daughter is incomprehensibly hostile about starting Christmas preparations before Thanksgiving. Like she has to do anything! Plus she's Jewish! She forbade me from putting up the Christmas lights on a warm day last week (not that I had time to do it anyway) in her most critical voice.

    I had to look up Marfan syndrome. I am now more informed, and also hope to not see an Elf on the Shelf in my house.

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  2. I'm firmly in the camp of keeping Christmas to the four weeks of advent (not that we celebrate advent in any religious sense). Otherwise, I get out-Christmassed before December 25th. Christmas is my favorite holiday, but I need it to be distinct. So this is just to thank you for being so considerate of us Thanksgiving-first people :-) I'm now looking forward to all your Christmas posts.

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