Thursday, February 5, 2015

Ponderances From a Winter Walk

I went for a walk yesterday morning.

This may not sound like something worth sharing if you live in a warmer climate where you can walk around outside at this time of year without taking your life in your hands.  But here?  Here it is cold.  Here it is snowy.  Here everyone I've talked to lately is discussing Seasonal Affective Disorder.

But yesterday morning, after I watched the older two kids climb onto the school bus, I went for a little walk.  Derek is working evenings this week and thus has the mornings off, which means Caedmon is in heaven and I get to do things like go for walks when it gets all the way up into the teens.

Things I thought about on yesterday's walk:

  •  How happy I was to be outside breathing fresh air, even when that air took the form of bitterly cold wind that blew the fresh snow currently falling from the sky into my face.  This only happened when I got too close to the edge of town.  This is how desperate I am for fresh air at this time of year.
The view out my kitchen window: pretty, sparkly, white prison bars.

  • How much I love my coveralls.  My grandma got them for me years ago, and they keep me so warm I don't care a whit about the fact that they make the mechanic next door and me appear to be twins whose mother insists on dressing us alike.  We're like the Bobbsey Twins Grown Up, although I'm sad to inform you that Freddie became a heavy smoker, but still a perfectly nice neighbor.  
Just add long underwear- both pants and top- beneath these, jeans, thick tall socks, a sweater, a heavy coat, snow boots, scarf, mittens, and stocking cap on top, and you're ready for a pleasant if stiff-legged winter walk.

  • How many fitness-ey people I've heard expound on the virtues of  THE CORE; namely how it should more or less constantly be in use and how it's essential to human survival, etc, etc, all of which, despite years in a dance studio, I happily ignored, but I finally tried it while doing yoga, and lo and behold, those annoyingly fit people were all completely right!  Which is irritating! 
Anyway, since discovering The Power of The Core (I believe some refer to them as "abdominals"), I've been discovering all kinds of helpful applications for THE CORE, and yesterday was no different:  On any given surface outside my front door there now exists a substantial layer of ice under around a foot of snow.  You know how, when your boot meets an unexpected sheet of ice and you go into a lock-kneed, off balance skid, even if you don't fall you still end up pulling a weird muscle around your rib cage or right in the middle of your back?  Well.  It turns out keeping THE CORE taut while mincing across the ice helps you both keep your balance and helps to prevent the pulling of heretofore-unnoticed muscle pulls.

I went looking for a "people slipping on ice" gif but instead I found a hydrogen bond gif!  Fitness-ey people will tell you that as those mickey mouse-things slow down you need to engage THE CORE, but excellent Chemistry professors will say things like, "Look, if I ever ask you a question in this class and you have no idea what the answer is, just say, 'Hydrogen Bonds!'  There's a good chance you'll be right." 

  • Both how happy I was that football season is over (I know, Husband.  I know.), and that the Vikings weren't in the Super Bowl (I KNOW, OKAY?), because I don't know if our family could survive such an event.  I already have a plan for immediately before and during the game, should the Vikings ever make it that far:  The children and I will vacate the premises, for everyone's protection and well-being.  I don't know where we'll go.  I don't know what we'll do.  I just know we won't be with Derek.  And if the Vikings win, great!  Super!  It will no doubt be the happiest day of my husband's life, and I'm barely speaking hyperbolically, here.  
But if they lose?  Oh.  Ohhh, gracious.  

For whatever reason, this is what occupied my brain for the bulk of my walk:  

Scene:  Our house, outside appearance normal.  Upon opening the front door, however, it's like walking into Great Expectations, complete with Derek in a decaying wedding dress and his insistence on referring to all three of our children as "Pip."

I once had a lit professor who posited you could never take a Dickens reference too far.  I do believe my husband would disagree at this point in time, although the apparent gruesome quality of the above scene with Derek Crisler cast as Miss Havisham entertained me enough on my walk to make me forget the cold for large chunks of time.  

That giant mess of junk and thoughts and thinks up there?  I would have taken it all this morning when I walked the kids to the bus stop and straight back home, as it was several degrees below zero and I could feel the mucous membranes inside my nostrils freezing.  This is a very disconcerting feeling.


  1. I am very much in favor of the long-underwear-plus-coverall look in this kind of weather. I don't have coveralls, but I do love my snow pants.

    I find that I can't walk outside in very cold weather, because my lungs can't take the cold air.

  2. When the Vikings make it darling, when they make it...

  3. Poor Freddie...

    My brother in Wisconsin tells me that they are just now getting over the Packers losing to the Seahawks for the NFC championship. Most Seattleites still refuse to discuss losing the Superbowl this year.


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