Monday, March 23, 2015

A Hipster, Daughter, and Husband List

  • Our nearby big town of Ames was listed as the #2 city for hipsters last week by CBS news.  I already knew this, as our church is chock-full of them.  This doesn't bother me in the least because I can think of very few other groups as a whole who are easier to make fun of, a practice that has brought me... well, maybe not hours, but certainly minutes of entertainment.  Do a Kenickie-inspired run through your gelled hair with your imaginary comb, throw your imaginary scarf over your shoulder, strum your imaginary banjo with a pensive look on your face, and you're there, friend.  I do this all in a spirit of Christian loving-kindness, of course. 

  • I talked to my mom yesterday and thankfully she is running with this whole Flat Adelaide thing.  Flat A has been to see a totem pole and attended a funeral and Mom was talking about making her poor On the Job Training student construct tiny defibrillator paddles so they could resurrect Crashing Flat Adelaide when she goes to work with my mom this week.  This is all good news because three-dimensional Adelaide and I spent some of spring break brainstorming for her King Tut costume, during which we discovered a few creative differences in opinion, namely that I think her Egyptian headdress should be constructed from scrap fabric, whereas Adelaide thinks it should be made from paper and is likewise wrong.  The yellow satin I found does seem to be slowly swaying her to my side, however, apparently because her only real problem with my scrap fabric was that "I thought you were going to force that horrendous egg-yolk-puke-colored felt down my throat, when everyone knows King Tut did not wear yellow, he wore gold."  Never one to pass up a chance to make as many of our children unhappy as possible, I also requisitioned Atticus's toy snake for her costume, to be returned to him after this fiasco of a presentation is over.  I believe the only reason he did not throw a fit over this is because he knows there is a good chance I will use this snake to strangle our daughter if she says "Mom, don't you know anything about the ancient Egyptians?" just one more time. 

  • Derek was on the radio this morning, being interviewed about his library documentary because he just won a bunch of fancy awards for his work because he's amazing.  I asked him around thirty questions about his appearance on this radio show before it occurred, and he was able to answer right around two of them, brushing off the rest with appalling nonchalance.  He reminded me about the whole thing last night before bed just so that I'd remember that I needed to get the two A's to the bus stop today, and that was it.  This illustrates a fundamental difference between Derek and me:  If it were me going on a radio show for any reason, any reason at all, I would have freaked. the heck. out.  It would have been the de facto topic of conversation in our house for days, whether anyone wanted to hear about it or not.  I would have written posts on here about it.  I would have texted at least four friends and told them to pray for me lest I die immediately.  I would have paced around the house, flapping my hands.  Derek?  "Hey, I've been asked to be on this radio show.  They want to interview me about the library doc."  "OH MY GOSH WHEN?"  "Monday morning, at 7:15.  You'll need to take the kids to the bus stop."  "OH WOW THAT'S SO EXCITING!"  *crickets*
I'm pretty sure this is why Derek kept showing me all these t-shirts when that whole "Keep Calm and..." thing was trending.

From Etsy

From here

Both of the previous slogans could represent my entire psychological outlook with astounding accuracy.


  1. Somehow I missed the original Flat A post, but I really love the idea of the little defibrillator paddles!

    And I have to say, having a teen is SO much easier than elementary-aged kids. At least for moms like me, who really don't want to create valentines boxes, Cleopatra costumes, or anything else crafty.

  2. It sounds like Flat Adelaide is having ALL the fun. Totem poles and funerals! (What did the family of the deceased think of having Flat A there?) Photos, please!

    I would react exactly the same way if I had to be interviewed on the radio. Brave, brave Derek.

    The link about Ames says that a whopping 62% of Ames has a bachelor's degree. Get out! Y'all are highly edumecated there!

  3. Banjos are hipster? I had no idea. Obviously, my church has exactly zero hipsters.
    I only knew last Wednesday was "superhero day" at my son's high school because I saw him riding his bike with a cape flying behind him.


Studies show that that people who leave comments are kind, intelligent, generous, creative, and have really nice hair.