Monday, June 29, 2015

Bison bison, Broken broken

In addition to friendly, our local auto repair place is speedy, and got the van back to us with a new hood and new windshield on Friday, a mere four days post-trauma.  Somehow they managed to find a used hood that was the same color as the rest of our van, which was super helpful, as we requested they just get the thing drive-able, not necessarily pretty or perfect which was probably a relief to the mechanics as they are not miracle workers.

When I picked it up one of the mechanics assured me that the van will probably continue to run for quite some time, as "the engines on those things generally run forever; people just stop driving them because everything else falls apart."

What's that, Sir Mechanic?  "Everything else falls apart"?  You don't mean things like:


  • The driver's side door handle half broken, thisclose to coming completely off,
  • One of the outer sliding door handles coming off in the hand of a passenger who dared to attempt opening the door,
  • The power doors being inoperable,
  • The manual button you use to open the inside of one of the sliding doors sticking nearly every time you use it, often having to be pried out with a key,
  • The volume knob slicing itself cleanly in two and half of it falling off,
  • The handle of the back hatch no longer working, making it so we can't open the back door,
  • A hole in the exhaust system making the van so loud our neighbors must surely think Sturgis has relocated to our town when we're still a block away,
  • The two back automatic windows that are supposed to open a bit for ventilation no longer working, 
  • The heat no longer working in the middle or back rows,
  • The two black pieces of rubber on either side of the windshield coming loose and flapping like the wings of an irate goose anytime we're on the highway,
  • The turn signals and hazards abruptly going on strike- they did fix those at the shop, as they're the tiniest bit important.

I'd say the maniacal laughter that threatened to erupt from me at his words was entirely warranted.  

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