Friday, October 23, 2015

Never Again: A List of Consequences

Reasons Why I Will Never Announce What a Bouncy Happy Healthy Family We Usually Are to the Internet and/or Universe Again:


  • Adelaide will get sick for the first time in forever, and because her school has a 24-hour fever-free policy before she can return, she will miss an extra day when she is perfectly fine.  

  • I will then get sick, which could be because two of our children were just sick and they like to do their level best to sit on/lean against/burrow into my body when feeling unwell, but I think we all really know it's because I lost my mind and went all, "Deedle-dee, we never get sick, doo-dee-doo, yessir, healthy is what we are!  All the time!  Beware, germs!  You are no match for us!"  Germ Jihad will then be leveled against our family.  Three out of five of us (so far) will lose.

  • We will take a trip to the eye doc which I suspect will end in glasses for daughter but instead freaks both me and Adelaide out because that's just what happens when the doc uses words like, "Pediatric Ophthalmologist," "Surgical consult," and "Omaha," in conjunction with your child's eyeballs.  This will then cause yours truly to send out a text burst to a number people that basically reads, "Hey, your kid has glasses:  Who do you trust with a tiny thing like your child's eyesight?  Because at this point we need a second opinion and I need a shot of valium to settle me down."

I get it.  Consider me humbled.  



2 comments:

  1. This sounds like a tough week for you and your household.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope it's nothing serious with Adelaide. Surgical consult are indeed scary words. Hopefully you can kick those germs out quickly!

    ReplyDelete

Studies show that that people who leave comments are kind, intelligent, generous, creative, and have really nice hair.