Tuesday, July 12, 2016

I Didn't Even Have to Throw a Shoe

After four days without access to our kitchen sink, on Sunday Derek restored peace and equilibrium to my favorite tiny boring kingdom and fixed it.  Over the weekend there was much disconnecting of things under the sink and rooting around with our ten foot drain snake, followed by pouring an entire bottle's worth of a truly scary chemical concoction down the drain, all mixed with generous doses of frustration and angry muttering, not to mention yelling back and forth from the kitchen to the basement between the two of us. ("CAN YOU HEAR THE SNAKE?"  "I CAN HEAR IT BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS."  "WHERE IS IT?  CAN YOU TELL?"  "SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE WALL AND THE LIGHT BULB, MAYBE?  MOVE IT AROUND AGAIN!  NO, WAIT... THERE, MAYBE?  OR MAYBE IT'S OVER THERE?"  "HAS IT MADE IT AROUND THE BEND?"  "I CAN HEAR IT BUT I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHERE IT IS.")   This was all exactly as clear and helpful and exciting as I am making it sound.  We party hard in this house.

This all culminated in Derek purchasing a fifty-foot drain snake and finally dislodging whatever disgustingness was wedged in there.  Derek's face after I shared my suspicion as to what the clog was made it clear that our minds are still two very different kinds of creatures.  Derek seemed to think it was an obstruction shoved down there by certain children.  I suspected a mouse king.  Either way, it has been vanquished by Husband, my very own Nutcracker!  (If you are lost at this point, then please allow me to say that I'm sorry your childhood was so sad.  Multiple readings and attendances of The Nutcracker through my formative years have given me an acute appreciation for Hoffmann and Tchaikovsky and Balanchine, with the minor side effect of suspecting mouse kings lurking in just about any dark space.  Worth it.)

Please notice Caedmon's toy tools that he scurried to retrieve once he realized Derek was about to go about fixing something.  Atticus was just there for the show.  Like I said, a tiny boring kingdom.  I love it so much.

It took just long enough to get the whole thing fixed that I am majorly appreciating it today.  Every time I walk through the kitchen, I smile happily, because hey!  I have functional indoor plumbing!  I can cook again, and do dishes, and not worry about mouse kings summoning their army!  I celebrated all this by trying a new recipe today, because with access restored to my kitchen, I can once again to do that!  Apple, Cranberry, and Almond Coleslaw, Derek and I both love you in a way that is strange, considering you're basically a big bowl of cabbage.  This is the traditional way to celebrate the absence of rodent royalty, you know.


  1. Clearly, somebody in "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" needed to have that same conversation you had with your husband. It would have changed magical history.

    I saw your post about your ingenuity in the face of losing your kitchen plumbing, and was so non plussed at the idea of doing the dishes in the upstairs bathroom sink, that I wasn't able to comment. I am so glad that the problem is fixed. I don't know about any Mouse King, but I always suspect hair when this happens at our house.

    That coleslaw looks really yummy and I hope I get to make it (minus the mayo, which I detest). But apples, cranberries, and almonds! Oh, my!

    1. Nonplussed is one word. I don't know why my thumb keeps making it into two.

  2. I don't know how you made it through four days!

  3. We've had the clogged plumbing (luckily not in the kitchen side of the house) and it was not pretty... not the sewage backing up into the bathtub, and not the disgusting mess that was eventually removed from outside access (which was a combination of things deposited by multiple people, including ROCKS!?!) -- and like Carolyn, I think of hair first.
    Please, oh please, don't let it have been a mouse!

    Your ability to go 4 days without full kitchen access is impressive. Huzzah for the return of a fully functioning tiny kingdom!


Studies show that that people who leave comments are kind, intelligent, generous, creative, and have really nice hair.