Purposefully Trivial

Since things are all serious and stressful right now and I'm afraid to turn on the tv for fear of what election news awaits me, I'm going to discuss only the most trivial of things tonight.  I get to do this because I voted and then was called a socialist by a patron at the library who did not vote as I did.  Ah, patrons.  So fun.  (And I get double-bonus points for not saying what was in my head at the time, which was, "Actually, we prefer the term 'Marxist,' or, in a pinch, 'Commie.'"  Even if I'm neither a socialist nor a Marxist nor a communist.  Either way, she wouldn't have gotten it, trust me.)


We were in Kansas and Oklahoma last weekend, and while at my mom's house, I stumbled upon a photo.

First of all, do you remember those terrible school lunches that- at least at my schools- were called Hot Open-Faced Turkey Sandwiches?  They consisted of a slice of white bread, topped with a thin round of gray mystery meat (honestly, if turkeys got together and hired an ambulance chaser I think they'd have a real case in suing for defamation of character- I'm sure they'd get oodles of cash from all those notoriously wealthy school food providers), then on top of the "turkey" was an ice cream scoop of fake mashed potatoes, topped by meat water, or "gravy," if you wanted to drown your elementary school sorrows.

Anyway, I would decline the gravy and eat as much of the fake potatoes as I could without actually ingesting any that had touched the meat.  (I was a real peach to live and eat with, let me tell you.)  But I remember my friend Megan would slide the bread out from underneath the whole mess, then take the middle of that white bread and roll it up into a ball of somewhat-cooked dough and eat it.

All that to say, when I saw this photo of my sister as an infant and me as a three-year-old, I could only think, "Look how adorable Kelli was!  And... look how I look like a floating ball of Hot Open-Faced Turkey Sandwich bread dough with a bad wig.  Huh."

The 80's were a special time.

In other news, I have found that Adelaide corrects her friends notes they have written to her.

This made me inordinately happy.

In election-ish news, I saw this sign and thought the person running had an unfair advantage.  Who's not going to vote for Bacon?!

And now, if you're at the point where you just want to bypass all the hoopla and need something to send you into a meditative trance (or coma, whatever), this did it for me.  So neat.

Kermit Understands

I hope this has been you lately.  I really do.

I hope you haven't been kept up at night, literally losing sleep for the first time over a presidential election, and wondering (in a disbelieving, appalled sort of way) more specifically how, how people you love could support a candidate with whom you'd feel actual fear if you were trapped in an elevator with them?

*elevator doors close, begins mentally reviewing self-defense moves*

Because social media has lately left me feeling like either the gif immediately above or the one immiately below,

where I say to myself, "Look!  A post by Loved One!  I shall view this post, which I'm sure will exude the love and light that I know is in line with our shared beliefs!"  But then, alas...

So I have been limiting my time in those online spaces, because I want to continue to love my loved ones after November, right?  

Right.

Instead I've been planting bulbs and running with friends and watching the newest season of Midsomer Murders with Derek and reading terrific books with the kids and preparing for a visit from my mom and Mark, all which transform me from that background cat into foreground Kermit.

I hope you've been doing the same, or whatever it is that brings you a measure of peace.

Sister Suffragettes

When I said I was going to post every day, I should have taken today into account, and held off until next month.

Election day.

I'm not going to impart anything revelatory to you.  If you're an American citizen, you know you should vote. If you're a woman, you know that we haven't had the right to vote for all that long in our country, and you should really vote.  If you're a person of any color other than white then you know that you also haven't had voting rights for long, and you should really really vote.

Basically, if you're an American citizen, you should be out there voting.

And if you feel very strongly about a candidate, I'm really okay with you telling me why your candidate is the best person for that particular position.  I'll gladly listen to you.

But do you know what I don't want to hear?  Smear campaigns.



I feel like the past several months have been a steep escalation in My-dad-could-beat-up-your-dad-type antics.


"I hear Romney once ran a red light."

"Oh, yeah?  I heard that Obama has never donated blood."

"Well, Romney doesn't believe in the existence of unicorns!"

"One time Obama turned in long-overdue library books and DIDN'T PAY THE FINE!"

"ROMNEY BOILS LIVE PUPPIES AND EATS THEM FOR LUNCH!"

"OBAMA IS ACTUALLY UNDEAD AND ABOUT TO START THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!"


And I'm over here going, "Jesus, you're really going to have to help me out with this whole love-your-neighbor thing, because right now I hate everyone."



Happy Election Day!