Light On, Light Off

It's always funny to me how home improvement projects not only, well, improve the home, but even more so, highlight the differences between the two people living in this home and engaging in the improvement.

Case in point:  Light bulbs.

Now, when I hear "Wifi light bulbs" I think "I bet that has something to do with the internet," because I am a veritable wizard when it comes to technology.  I have no idea what Derek thinks (I've written before on the differences between his brain and my brain; they are varied and vast), but based on his level of excitement when he first called me about these Wifi light bulbs he'd found at the store while benignly searching for dimmable LEDs, it's something like, "Wow!  Brilliant!  Smashing!"  (That is how foreign the interior of his mind is to me:  It could speak in a British accent, for all I know.)

First of all, I was right about the "something to do with internet" thing, because we do control these light bulbs from our phones via the Wifi, but what's so fun about these bulbs, as Derek explained to me, is that you can dim or brighten them from your phone, you can adjust the relative warmth or coolness of the light, and you can create "Scenes," such as the one called "Movie Lighting" Derek set up, where if I select that scene, the lights will adjust to a certain warmth and brightness optimal for movie-watching.  You can also set up a schedule for your lights, and they'll do whatever it is you've told them to do whenever it is you've told them to do it.

Another difference between Derek and me:  That he would even think of labeling the sconces in this way.

East sconce and West sconce?  What, I asked him, is wrong with Left sconce and Right sconce?!  East and West assumes I know which one is more Easterly and which one is more Westerly, and unless the sun is just rising over one and just setting over the other, this is something I never know!  

I once read an article about how geese are able to navigate their yearly migrations so successfully each year, and it has something to do with magnets.  Like, in their brains.  These magnets somehow work with the magnetic fields of earth, which is fascinating and also terribly vague, I know.  Help a girl out, sciencey people?

Anywho, Derek must have these same magnets in spades in his own head, because he can travel somewhere once, and he will ever after know that route, and how to get to this place and that place and oh you just have to head north to get to this other place, all of which is useless to me, because there are no magnets in my head, or whatever it is that he has to thank for his reliable internal compass.  I need directions that sound like, "Next, you're gonna look for a crazy-big statue of a guy with a sword.  Turn LEFT at the sword-guy.  Go two more blocks, and turn RIGHT at the wrought-iron fence topped with fleurs-de-lis."  Now those?  Those are useful directions.

And yes, I know Right sconce and Left sconce could be confusing, as they change depending on whether you're looking at them or sitting on the couch under them.  (Derek says.)  Still.

Another neato thing about these lights are these settings:

Have we used any of these settings?  No.  But, see, we could if we wanted to!

Now, it's possible you're more like me, and you're reading this thinking, "Hmm, that sounds kind of neat.  Interesting.  Good to know."  However, if you're like Derek and all this Wifi light bulb business makes you go, "Holy cow- this is the most amazing thing since Midsomer Murders Season 17 finally showed up on Netflix- this makes my skirt blow up so much I feel like Marilyn Monroe over a subway vent except hopefully without the associated drug use/mental illness/poor life choices!"  If that is you, then here's what the box looks like for this little system that we are, indeed, satisfied with, at least one week into use:

I should also note that Derek got these at Lowe's, and they were 50% off, although I have no idea whether or not they're still on sale.  Oh, and another big plus is that because these are LEDs, they're energy-savers, and you know how I feel about all that.  (Hint:  Very strongly in favor of.)

And now I'll leave you with this photo of Caedmon with his Papa.  Derek's parents walked in on Saturday to help us with these sconces with their fancy light bulbs, and as soon as Caedmon saw that Dennis was dressed to work with tools (one of our youngest son's very favorite things), he scurried up the stairs and quickly returned proudly sporting similar accoutrements.

Brains!

Derek and I have been discussing brains lately.

<Insert requisite zombie joke here.>

It usually starts with me describing to him something going on in my brain, and ends with a blank, bewildered, or pitying look on his face.  Then he says something like, "Your brain must be a dark/scary/confusing place."

At my behest, he has also tried to explain what his mental space looks like.

Picture a showroom for the Container Store or one of those home organization places.  That is what I envision Derek's mind looking like.

It is clean.  It is uncluttered.  It is straightforward, and most things are black and white.  Decisions are made quickly and precisely, there are vast memory storages (past the age of eight, that is), and a very concise and accurate way of accessing that memory.  Thanks to a moral compass that points true north, what is Right is easily identifiable and done whenever possible.  Multi-tasking comes easily.  Perfection is the goal.


Now picture the opposite.  That is my brain.

Well, that's not quite true.  There is an organizational system in place, of sorts.  It's not complete mayhem in there.



Actually, my computer desktop is a pretty accurate microcosm of my mind:

(Click to embiggen.)

Behold:  Virtual sticky notes.  I love those things.  Obviously.  Let's see here...  we've got some book titles that are on my to-read list.  Some things I need to do.  The word hegemony.  Just because I like it.  Temple Grandin is a movie title I recently read a recommendation for that I am very intrigued by.  The citrus zester is on my birthday wish list (which is just a few days away- be prepared for a superfun birthday post about cancer!).

And just think:  I deleted at least a dozen sticky notes before I took this screen shot.

While my desktop with its glorious sticky notes does kind of remind me of my mental state, it's not entirely accurate.  I think mostly in words- as in, written words that I can see printed across my mind's eye.  I'm not sure if it's because I read so much or if that's what caused my love of reading to begin with.  Also, all those notes might lead you to think I'm good at multi-tasking.  I'm not.  Me multi-tasking is dangerous.  Literally.  It's also not that bright in there.  My thoughts tend to be kind of dark.  I have to make a conscious effort to focus on happier, more positive things.


I've always kind of assumed everyone thinks more like I do.  I think Derek knows that most people don't have a mind like his, but he also doesn't believe most people's brains are just like mine.

At first I thought this meant everyone else's were somewhere in between, but further speculation leads me to think that each person's mind is so individual that it's close to impossible to put it on some sort of spectrum (although my psych degree has taught me that people are bound and determined to try).  The mind is also very difficult to describe, as I've discovered in writing this post.

I hate to ask a question as an ending to this post, because for some reason, that seems to actually deter people from commenting, but I must:  What's your brain like?  More like Derek's, or mine, or completely and totally different?





UPDATE:  Wow.  You guys have left some awesome responses, and I'm proud to know some really fascinating brains.  I've had so much fun reading about them!