Monday, July 15, 2013

Fashion Backward

This morning, I saw a young lady leaving a store.  Bless her heart, I thought.  That girl is blind.

But then a whole group of her apparent friends exited behind her.  Well, that seems a trifle unlikely.  Are they ALL blind?  

Because seriously?  There is no way anyone would knowingly put on those clothes without the benefit of a little thing called "sight."


One of many signs that I'm getting older is my attitude toward what the younger generation generously calls "clothes."  There just doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to what they wear.  First of all, leg warmers?  Those things are back?  And on a 90 degree, desperately humid day?

I try to give them the benefit of the doubt.  I mean, hey, maybe she has some family living in Tokyo and some others in Russia and really does need to wear three watches at once- on the same wrist- one for each time zone, right?

The other big trend these days seems to be of a vintage, Mad Men- inspired type.  I, of course, love this type of thing, as I'm a complete and total sucker for anything with the terms "vintage" or "antique" applied to it (even if most people seem to be completely okay with playing it fast and loose with the word "vintage").  I don't actually wear any of this type of clothing, but I think it's fun to see 60's-inspired dresses around me.

Sometimes it's good to be reminded that even back then, however, there was questionable taste abounding.

Case in point:  This little gem my mom found... I actually don't know where.  She's been cleaning out her basement lately, so in some box somewhere?  I'm not sure.

I don't even know what this is.  An elderly angel, perhaps?  I didn't think angels were capable of aging.
This, my friends, is a useful little pamphlet entitled "Holiday Happenings With Reynolds Wrap," and it. is. a. GEM.  My mom and I couldn't tell exactly when it was published, but we're guessing the 1960's or 1970's, when people knew that tin foil wasn't just for such mundane uses as food preparation.

I mean really, I don't know about you, but I always wanted to know how to make tin foil topiaries to flank my front door.  

And a tin foil wreath to match!

 
And just think!  Instead of the eye-searing and weather-defying ensembles I witnessed today, I could have had the privilege of being blinded by this little number:




This page is headed "Holiday happenings for teenagers," and the very first sentence informs you that "for the newest 'mod' look, it's teen fashions in foil, easily and inexpensively designed and tailored at home with Reynolds Wrap."  And they're not suggesting you stop at a foil dress!  You can continue to accessorize your mod self with a foil shoe buckle (which they want you to STAPLE to your shoes) and by "braiding your Falls with foil."  I actually had to ask my mom just what precisely "Falls" were.  Her long explanation ended with the summary "basically like hair extensions before there were hair extensions."  They also recommended applying rubber cement to the dull side of the foil and applying it to your old cotton apron for a festive holiday apron!  YES, PLEASE!

I actually don't know which I'd prefer to see strutting down my street, leg warmers or clothing made out of foil.  Hang on, hang on... how about LEG WARMERS MADE OF FOIL.  Your calves would literally be roasting in them on a day like today, bringing new meaning to the term "leg warmers."

13 comments:

  1. Wow. This was entertaining!

    I think the angel is Dolly Parton.

    A foil dress? My lands. There is a reason God invented cotton and the spinning wheel.

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    1. I never ever would have gotten Dolly Parton out of that picture.

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  2. I miss your book blurbs.

    Oh, I'm sorry, that has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. Clothes=not my thing. ;)

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    1. I've been mentally working on one for awhile, but you know, you just keep reading, so that list builds and builds and pretty soon you have a post that's waaay too long. Soon. Probably.

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  3. Do not judge me by Adi's ensembles please :)

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    1. Haha I always think Adi looks really cute! She could probably teach me a thing or two, sadly.

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  4. It seems to me that you can now buy all these things just off the shelf. Isn't that just as weird? It's not that these things weren't popular --they were just too hard for us average folks to make. Okay, maybe not the foil dress --seems that would just be an accident waiting to happen :-)

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    1. Oh, I know. I hurt myself on a daily basis; I can't imagine the carnage if I were wearing a foil dress.

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  5. That girl looks like she's having such fun in her aluminum foil dress... Or maybe she's actually in the middle of crying over the death of her budding modeling career. What a good find...

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    1. Did they have anything like photoshop then? I'm sure they had some kind of equivalent to edit out her tears.

      This really made me laugh, by the way.

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  6. my mod self is hurt that you would so publically disrespect my foil dress.

    this book is apparently pinterest-before-there-was-pinterest. where you're all, '2 points for epic craftiness, -3 points for evidently having no common sense or taste.'

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    1. Wow. That sounds like the very definition of most pins.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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